About Me

​My beliefs

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I believe that people are basically good and that when evil exists in the world, it's mostly the result of early trauma.  I am not naive in saying this; I began my career as a therapist working in a prison.

 

I believe that people can and do heal.  I believe that most of the harm we do to ourselves and others is the result of early defenses that became default behaviors.  When default defenses turn harmful, they are maladaptive.

 

I believe that being a trans woman is one of the greatest gifts that I could have received.  I am not saying that being trans is easy.  Being trans kept me from wanting to join groups when I was young. Being trans cost me a comfortable career in law and a comfortable marriage.  And, being trans woke me up to living a deeply authentic life.  When I stepped into living as the person I knew myself to be, I stopped selling chunks of myself in order to fit in.  I liked who I became and discovered that other people, and certainly not all people, liked who I was, as well.

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People often describe me as warm compassionate.  I deeply believe there is a spark of the divine in every person.  From that place, I don’t judge others and I don’t shame.  I identify as spiritual, but not religious.   

 

I’ve lived an adventurous life.  I've held people with badly broken bodies and sat with some as they died.  I’ve been knocked down and gotten back up repeatedly.  I continue to learn.  As Madeleine L'Engle once said, I am every age I’ve ever been.  

 

I am a woman who happens to be transgender.  Some clients chose to work with me because they have, what some consider, unconventional relationships.  Some chose to work with me because they are also members of the LGBTQI family.  To most of my clients, my gender is no more important than the color of my eyes.